Integrity.... Again.

Posted on Wednesday, December 2, 2015 | 0 Comments

Remember that post I wrote about Integrity a while back? And remember how I wrote another post about a different version of Integrity a few weeks later?

Well let's hope the old adage "third time's the charm" holds true, because I'm about to hit you with another rework of Integrity. This time, though, I completely scrapped the original image and started over again with a different photograph from that day.

Now this isn't to say that I was lying in my last post when I said my second version was "SO MUCH better" and "I loved it", because it really was SO MUCH better and I really did love it more than the first. Seriously, I still cringe when I see the green fog from my first edit. You probably couldn't find a grilled cheese sandwich that was cheesier than this:

Uh... that failed attempt at a light ray coming down. The fact that the fog isn't even green in the area surrounding here. It was just.... bad.

So I asked for second opinions and the photo evolved into the latest version of Integrity, seen here:

And being 100% honest, I really did love it at first! But as time went on I realized it just didn't fit me. It didn't fit the story and it didn't fit my style. I strive for elegance and an air of authenticity in my photos and I didn't feel like this image was indicative of that. Was it really cool? Yes. Was it all kinds of fun colors and cool smoke? Yes. But of all the traits I claim to have, flashy is (I hope), not one of them. I love to work in the subtleties and so I attempted to take a more subtle approach this time around.

As I was reworking attempt #2, though, I was having a hard time visualizing what exactly I wanted to change. All I could see was what I DIDN'T want the picture to look like, blatantly staring me right in the face. It's like when people take a bright light and shine it right in your eye. You can't see anything but that light. You have a hard time believing there is anything else out there except that light. I was stuck, staring at this bright.... purple.... flashy.... light.

So I went back to square one and began looking for another shot from that day that I could use. Amidst the thirty or so photos I had taken, I found this one:

And this one:

Well photoshop exists for a reason.... so I combined them. And then added a lot of fog. And rather than listing ALL the things I changed.... I think I'll just show you. Because... you know... "a picture is worth a thousand words" and I stand by that statement. Without further ado, attempt #3:

3 All the while my breath is in me, and the spirit of God is in my nostrils;

4 My lips shall not speak wickedness, nor my tongue utter deceit.

5 God forbid that I should justify you: till I die I will not remove mine integrity from me.

6 My righteousness I hold fast, and will not let it go: my heart shall not reproach me so long as I live.

Job 27: 3-6

In my original post about six months ago, I explained all the symbolism behind this image. Since I'm nice and don't want to have to make you go track the original post down in the archives, I thought I'd give another explanation (largely copied and pasted from the original post):

Since the color for Integrity is purple, I made the obvious choice of dressing Kacey in purple. The ornament in her hair, a kanzashi, and the cherry blossom flowers wrapped around her crook are all nods to her Japanese heritage.

The image is representing her staying true to her beliefs and her principles and following the words of our Heavenly Father no matter what may cross her path. To me, this is the definition of integrity.

The shepherd's crook, long recognized as a symbol of our Savior, represents Christ as the Shepherd. He guides us to safety and eternal life through his example. I wanted to have Kacey holding onto this staff as she walked down the path, just as we must hold to the words of our Savior throughout our lives, during easy and difficult times alike.

The light represents her goodness and the "light" of Christ we can bring into the sometimes dark and dreary world around us.

Finally, as you may have guessed, the forest in winter and the fog creeping in represents not only the evils of the world, but more importantly, the difficult times in our lives. It's so easy to think that it's "evilness" that pulls us away from our Heavenly Father. But like a gentle fog rolling in, it's the daily struggles and the sorrows that occur in our lives which obscure our path back to him.

So hopefully this is the final version I am sticking with. I've been staring at this photo for the past two weeks, making tiny adjustments here, and tiny adjustments there. When I finally opened it up last night, and again this morning, and couldn't think of anything I wanted to change, I decided it was time to share.

Hopefully this is the last time I will be posting about Integrity!

Labels: Arkansas, Behind the Scenes, Conceptual Work, Photography, Religious Art

Success

Posted on Tuesday, November 24, 2015 | 0 Comments

Lately I've been thinking about success. And unfortunately it's not been in a good way. More like in a "I'm never going to make it, everyone else is beating me to it" kind of way. It got to the point last week where I wanted to leave work, go hide somewhere, and cry. The same thoughts kept running through my head over and over Friday night. They went a lot like this:

"Every body else is finding success."

"I guess my work just isn't good enough."

"No one is ever going to even see my work, let alone care about it."

"There's just no point."

I watched a tv show on my computer in bed, and then went to sleep with these thoughts echoing in my head. However, Saturday morning I woke up and read the quote for that day from my DailyQuote App and I was immediately reminded of my Heavenly Father's love for me. The quote was this:

"Whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it."

-Diane Sawyer

I don't believe in coincidences. Heavenly Father watches out for us, and he cares about the details of our lives. The intimate, sometimes painful, and heavy moments that make up the story of our lives. But that quote was exactly what I needed to read. So now I'm reminding myself, and anyone else out there who has a dream: it's never too late, it's never useless, and there is ALWAYS a reason to follow your dream.

So this is me getting back up, trying again, falling, failing, and getting back up again. And again. And again. Because there will be hard moments, and there will be times where I just want to cry and give up. It's part of life and we all experience those feelings and heartaches. But that doesn't mean what we're pursuing isn't good and isn't worthy of our devotion. It just means the reward will be worth fighting for.

Believe

Posted on Tuesday, November 17, 2015 | 0 Comments

"God is eagerly waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as he always has. But he can't if you don't pray, and he can't if you don't dream. In short, he can't if you don't believe." 

- Jeffrey R. Holland

I stumbled upon this quote yesterday and it really spoke to me. I've been hoping for a lot of things lately. Wishing that I could do this, and I could accomplish that. When I read this quote, I realized that I've been neglecting some very important steps in turning these hopes into a reality. Praying and believing. I guess I didn't realize that I can pray for things that are just hopes of mine. Prayer is not restricted to just the things that I need or for blessings on those going through hard times, although those things are very important. 

We can pray about anything.

But it doesn't just stop with prayer. It also requires belief. Belief in the form of action. So today I am going to not only start praying to achieve my goals and realize my dreams, I am also going to act and do everything I can to get me where I need to be, when I need to be there. Then Heavenly Father can guide me on the path to fulfilling my dreams.

Labels: Art, Boston, Photography

Unfurl Your Joy

Posted on Monday, November 2, 2015 | 0 Comments

Today I was feeling pretty frustrated with my circumstances. I've been an administrative assistant for just over a year and half now, and some days that sits heavily with me. I love who I work with and who I work for, but in my heart, I know I am not a secretary. This may sound very spoiled of me to say, as there are jobs that are much less appealing to have, but I think... I know... everyone has those days, when, despite everything they are blessed with, they feel down. It's part of life.

I drove home in the rain, enjoying how calm it made me feel and when I got home I promptly snuggled up in bed for a few minutes. I eventually made my way to my little office in the sunroom (although I think the term nightroom would be more fitting this time of year). My heart sang when I opened up Lightroom and saw these pictures waiting for me to edit them. It was like the little spot of joy and happiness I had been looking for all day, bogged down as I was at work.

I didn't do much in the way of editing these, other than warming them up a bit. I get so caught up in making sure all my other settings are correct that I never adjust my white balance while shooting. I consistently come out of a shoot with cooler toned images than in reality, so I like to warm all my images up in post-processing. I loved the simplicity of these images, though, and Kari's infectious smile. I told her to twirl a bit while I was shooting, and she did not let me down. I think she twirled for a good ten minutes straight, which was just adorable.

Anyway, I hope these images bring just a little bit of warmth and sunshine into your day. And who knows, maybe they've inspired you to go twirl around a bit and remember what it's like to be a kid again.

Today is your day to

dance lightly with life.

Sing wild songs of adventure.

Soar your spirit,

unfurl your joy.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Cora + Jason

Posted on Thursday, October 29, 2015 | 2 Comments

Several years ago (and I cannot believe it's been long enough to use the word several) I moved into an apartment with five other girls, only one of whom I had known previously. The thought of cramming six girls into one apartment with only two bathrooms to share between them seemed very daunting.

But it was honestly one of the best four months of my life.

This is entirely because of my good friend and roommate Bri (who holds a place in my heart large enough for another blog post entirely), as well as the lovely woman you see in these photos.

Cora is my kindred spirit. She loves photography and the arts. She wants to be an art teacher when she finishes school. She loves music, and she loves crazy British tv shows like Doctor Who and Merlin. So it's easy to understand why she is one of my best friends.

And the happiest part of this story is that now Cora is engaged to her best friend, Jason!

When Cora asked me to come out and take her engagement photos last month, I was both incredibly flattered and tremendously excited. Spending the weekend with these two, who radiate happiness, joy, and excitement for the future, capturing their love in the mountains of Provo Canyon, was such a wonderful experience.

I am anxiously anticipating your wedding in May, Cora and Jason! I know it will be every bit as magical and full of joy as this weekend was. I am so excited I get to be there for every single minute of it!

Labels: Engagements, Photography, USA

The Parting with Summer

Posted on Wednesday, October 28, 2015 | 0 Comments

Autumn has always been my favorite season. It's like the entire world is, for a few short weeks, entirely in sync with my imagination and is showcasing a wonderful array of enchantment for everyone to enjoy. That may be one of the reasons why I love this new Autumn-inspired image as much as I do.

The beautiful feet of the summer,

So late by the woodland and rill,

With slow, lingering movement are going

Down the brown, southern slopes of the hills;

Her dreamy-eyed sister, the autumn,

Looks down at the summer-clad trees,

And, 'neath her cool breathing, a garment

Of brown is put on by the leaves.

MARY T. LATHRAP, "The Parting with Summer"

Meet my friend Kari. She was one of the first people I became friends with out here in Boston, and I'm incredibly grateful I met her (and her wonderful roommates)! The first time we hung out, the conversation, as it is wont to do when I am involved, of course turned to photography. It's times like these that I realize I am probably a little overly passionate about the subject, springing the topic on any and all who will show even the slightest ounce of interest. Really, it's as if I am the equivalent of the Star Wars geek of the photography world.

I thought the stars had finally aligned when she said she'd be interested in modeling for me, so I took advantage of the quickly passing Autumn foliage within a week or so of her offering.

Now, about four months ago I decided it was time for me to upgrade my equipment and invested in a new body and a new lens. This was (and I am slightly ashamed to admit that it took me this long) the first time I really got to break in my new camera with some more conceptual work, but I am thoroughly and completely in love with my new set up! Four months in the works, but this was a great shoot to really break back into the fine art world with. What I love most about my new setup?Most of what is in this photo, with the exception of the magical sparkles and the cane/staff, was shot in camera, in one single shot! No compositing of limbs, hair, or fabric necessary!

I thought it would be fun to share a short gif I made of each step of taking this image from square one to the magical scene of Summer turning to Autumn.

As you can see, other than some select color and lighting adjustments, not much was changed!

As Leonardo Da Vinci stated: "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."

Labels: Art, Behind the Scenes, Conceptual Work

Faith

Posted on Tuesday, October 13, 2015 | 0 Comments

Guys! I finished Faith and I am SOOOO happy with how it turned out!

A HUGE thank you to three people:

Belle, my beautiful model, who was so fun to work with, probably because she humored me by walking around barefoot in a poofy dress in the woods... in Arkansas... in the middle of summer. It's a more unpleasant endeavor than you would think, given not only the seriously humid heat, but also the creepy crawly things that are known to make their home there in the warmer months.

Also, Belle's mom, Lisa, for taking time away from her other kids to drive Belle out to our location. I very much appreciate your willingness to work this into your schedule!

Finally, a tremendously huge thank you is in order for Robert Cornelius of Robert Cornelius Photography! This picture would not by quite so magical without his help (and his mad Photoshop wizardry). If you don't know who Robert is, you should check out his blog!

Anyway, without further ado, I give you Faith:

41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life.

42 And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.

43 Then, my brethren, ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you.

Alma 32: 41-43

Now, because I love to see behind the scenes photos and before and afters, here is the before:

Originally I did a HUGE expansion and had all these big trees interspersed throughout the image. However, Belle ended up getting lost in the image because she was so small compared to the trees. So I took the trees from the expansion, widened them a bit, and moved them in closer to her before applying a more intimate crop.

Then I lightened her up, because #highlightingthesubject.

And tried messing with color balance.

I then realized the background was far too light and therefore distracting, so I darkened the greenery behind her. At this point, I became stuck. I knew this photo needed something, I just couldn't figure out what that was exactly. So I sat on it like this for a few weeks. I would try something, not like it, walk away, come back a few days later and try something else, with similar success.

Then one day I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and noticed a new post from Robert Cornelius, whom I've been following for the last year or so on social media. Per usual, his latest piece was A-MAZ-ING. So I commented on the post and sort of jokingly, but also seriously..... however that works... that if he ever hosted a workshop, I was SO there.
To which he responded that he didn't have any workshops planned, but he did offer 1-on-1 skype sessions...

Um.

Yes.

So much yes.

So I took him up on his offer and for an hour we talked through what I was hoping to get out of the image and how we could go about doing that. He recommended that I darken the background even further, and adjust the color balance to give it a bit more whimsy.

Then he really worked his magic, by... working some magic. In the form of sparkle trails!
I'm so excited about this!
I had tried adding a few sparkles here and there earlier on in the process, and always ended up deleting them over and over again. What I had been able to muster up looked completely fake, which was more than frustrating, because I think I had known all along that that's what I really wanted in this image. But Robert totally made the coolest sparkle trails EVER and helped bring the focal point of the image not just to Belle, but more specifically to the plant in her hand, which was awesome!

And the best part of all is he showed me how to do it!

So even though this photo took me several months to finish (which, hey, go easy on me. There was a cross country move within that time frame) and I felt on numerous occasions that I would just have to scrap the whole thing, this ended up being one of my favorite pieces to date!

So thank you Belle, thank you Lisa, and thank you Robert! I seriously could NOT have done it without you guys!

Labels: Arkansas, Church, Conceptual Work, Religious Art

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About

Arkansas native.

Currently based in Boston.

Travelling soul.

"Unexpected travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God." - Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Contact

madeline.s.stoker@gmail.com