Dancing Lessons from God

Why Having Big Dreams Is a Waste of Time

Posted on Wednesday, February 24, 2016 | 0 Comments

As my poor mother can attest after having to endure a rather bleak phone call late last Tuesday night, filled with tears and a thoroughly soaked pillowcase, I've been feeling a rather unpleasant mix of emotions the past few weeks. The kinds of emotional unpleasantries worthy of making anyone want to crawl back under their oversized down comforter and avoid another cold and overcast mid-February morning. I think everyone has gone through this phase at one point or another, so my intent is not to get sympathy in any way I can find it. There is actually a point to my bringing this up.

Now, I don't think it will come as a big surprise when I say that I am a dreamer. This is evidenced by that fact that one of my favorite pastimes is to use anything and everything I can to create whatever prop I need to for my latest photo idea. This has included such items as common kitchen barbecue skewers, yards of fabric from unfinished sewing projects left at the local thrift store, and even a light up two foot tall christmas candy cane decoration.

This tendency to imagine the far off possibilities applies to all aspects of my life, not just my photography and prop making.

I like to imagine what my life will look like when I'm five years older, with my future dog and future travels to Iceland, Croatia, and the Pacific Northwest. Who doesn't? And sometimes this is a really good thing. It fills me with determination and this certain excitement. The kind of excitement you feel at the start of a Saturday morning, sun streaming in through your windows, promising a gorgeous day spent accomplishing all the tasks you've been itching to do in between all the classes, appointments, and hectic grocery runs during the week.

It's a pretty magical feeling, right?

I attribute a lot of the growth I have experienced throughout my life to this combination of being a dreamer and a considerable amount of hard work. I like to think of my dreams as this big white lighthouse on the distant coast, drawing me on through the night towards a better and brighter future...

However, as much as I love my dreams, and I wouldn't trade them for anything, I think they are also the reason I sometimes find myself shipwrecked on the rocks, beaten with the punishing waves of rejection and heartache.

It hurts.

Sometimes to the point where it seems like it would be a lot easier to just let go of that dream and settle into the life I have right now. To stop trying to get to that lighthouse safe on land and stay in the relative safety of this little ship I've created in my 25 years. After all, my little ship is staying afloat just fine, isn't it?

This is my cousin Shari. Isn't she adorable?

I recently finished an image taken during my Christmas break trip to Las Vegas. Generally I try to find some sort of lyric, poem, or quote that represents the message being conveyed in my pieces. For this photo, I spent my entire early morning pre-work prep time searching for a quote that stood out to me. One of the first quotes I stumbled upon was this:

Do not waste time dreaming of great faraway opportunities; do the best you can where you are. Open your petals of power and beauty and fling out the fragrance of your life in the place that has been assigned to you.

- Orison Swett Marden

At first I did not like this quote. AT ALL. I spent another hour scrolling through brainyquote.com, pinterest, and every quote app on my phone (let's just say I really like quotes), getting increasingly frustrated that I couldn't find the perfect one. The thought that I had wasted my entire morning prep time with nothing to show for it left me heading to work with road rage akin to what a thirty-five year old guy trying to make it on time to his favorite sporting event would experience.

All of this, just because of the first phrase. "Do not waste time dreaming of great faraway opportunities."

Despite how I've been feeling lately, I still believe that dreams have this incredible ability to make you believe you can do things that seem 100 miles off the coast. Like that lighthouse burning steadfast through the storm, dreams give you the strength to fight your way towards a land where your biggest goals are your reality.

So how can something so powerful just be a waste of time?

As I spent my free time throughout the rest of my day searching for a better quote, I started to rethink things, though. After a while, a thought occurred to me:

Just because we're not constantly looking at our lighthouses, doesn't mean they no longer exist. And it doesn't mean we can't continue to sail steadfastly towards them.

If the lighthouse analogy is getting old for you, here's another scenario:

When you are driving, where do your eyes fall? Is it on your end destination 1,000 miles ahead of you? Or is it on the car in front of you, the signs as you drive past them, and the next off ramp?

What I've realized is that sometimes we need to focus on what's around us and not dwell on the big goals and dreams... at least not all the time. We would never make it from Boston to Los Angeles if we only looked in a generally westward direction. We would miss all the turns we need to make, and more importantly, we would miss all the beautiful pastures, mountains, and forested hills passing by on the other side of our window.

In the past week, I have realized something that has made me come to really enjoy this quote. I have the power to take the experiences and beauty, all the vistas I have seen throughout my journey, and tell everyone around me about them, metaphorically "flinging out my beauty and my fragrance," if you will.

So here's my beautiful vista (which actually kind of starts out on a depressing note, but I promise it gets happier):

Yes, it sucks to spend the majority of my time at a job that leaves me feeling ready to crawl back into bed as soon as I get home in the evening, still dressed and too drained to even take my coat off.

Yes, I will readily admit that every time I see one of my married friends buying a house or buying a dog, their first car, having a child... it really really sucks to be the one sitting on the couch alone, with no one's arm around me and no one holding my hand or kissing my cheek. No one to cook dinner for, or to tell me how their day at work was.

Being alone really is the pits sometimes.

But despite this, there is so much in my life to be happy for!

For one, I live in Boston!

I also have an amazing group of friends strewn throughout the world that I wouldn't trade for anything.

I have a family that loves me and supports me unconditionally.

I've had the blessing and opportunity to live in foreign lands and travel to many, many countries, gaining experiences and knowledge that will stay with me for eternity.

And it means that everything I can possibly give can be devoted to the pursuit of my passions and spreading love to everyone I encounter. How many people get to say that?

So today I remind myself that this is a process of "flinging my beauty and fragrance" around me in the places I have been called to traverse. I may feel like that tiny petal blowing aimlessly in the wind at times, disconnected from the world around me and hoping for a soft place to land, but if my very existence can add even just a tiny bit of extra beauty into someone else's life, I have served my purpose here in this life.

Life is about focusing on the little things, so that they will eventually lead us to the great big dreams.

For me, that means focusing on my goals just for today. Not for the year, or even the month, or the week. Just the next step. Every once in a while I will look to my right, or to my left, step back and admire the beautiful vista behind me, but for right now, I will set my sights on the next bend in the road and appreciate its beauty for what it is: another step in the right direction.